


All I Have Left

by orphan_account



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, X-Men - All Media Types, hozier-work song
Genre: F/M, Supernatural Elements, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-03-26 11:31:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3849319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peeta was killed in the Capitol. Katniss still has to survive.<br/>Thank mutants they've found some help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Inspired by Work Song by Hozier:  


When my time comes around,  
Lay me gently in the cold, dark earth.  
No grave can hold my body down,  
I'll crawl home to her.  


_It must be midnight, it must be tomorrow when Haymitch pushes open the door. "They're back. We're wanted in the hospital." My mouth opens with a flood of questions that he cuts off with "That's all I know." (Mockingjay, Suzanne Collins) ___

  
  


I run my fingers over his hollowed cheek, "What have they done to you?"  
My voice trembling as I start the descent, free falling.  
Blue and purple, yellow and brown, black and red, the rainbow of violence marked on his face and body.  
It had been too late to save Peeta. Annie came home to her Finnick, Johanna returned to be sure her vengeance was wrought, but Peeta was left behind. His body defiled and sent back to me as a token of the capitol's contempt for anything good.  
I rest my head on his chest; silence.  
Waiting for his arms to encircle me; no more.  
With cruel precision, etched on his skin, the tattooed lies,  
"She never loved me; I betrayed my country for humiliation."  
My tears try to wash it away, the unbearable evidence of his suffering, but it remains, holding me to account, for my failure to keep my promise.  


After a long time, I realise Haymitch is here, watching me. "We should go."  
How could I leave him?  
I had left him behind at the lightning tree. That’s where we veered from the plan; I was supposed to meet him at midnight.  
If I left him now, I would never see him again.  
"I can't" I told Haymitch, "I have to stay here to protect him."  
"He's beyond harm now; no one can hurt him any more."

"They'll take him away from me, burn him... " I couldn't bear it, the thought of his face being eaten by flames. I still needed him, _"I do, I need you"_ I repeated the words I had given him on the beach, and leaned down to kiss his cold lips. How could I believe he was gone? He had defied death before to stay with me; surely he would come back again.

I had to force his already stiffening fingers apart to fit my hand in his.  
"I'm not letting him go!"

Haymitch was no match for me, but the soldier from district 13 was too strong. He prised me away, dodging my kicks, ignoring my screams. The last time I saw Peeta was over my shoulder. He lay on the hospital trolley damaged beyond repair; claimed by death as her prize.

  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The funeral was held the next day, according to district 13 protocol. Dead bodies could harbour infection and were incinerated within 48 hours. Below ground was the realm of the living here, burial would be a waste of resources, and how much further down could we dig before we came to the boundaries of hell?

The idea of hell was a myth I knew from stories of life before the dark days. We had no religion. The wars that brought the darkness left no one to pray to, no belief in an afterlife. In district 13 we had to stick to the programme. This was the end of the days allocated to Peeta Mellark, we would pay our respects and move on, our minds focussed on the greater good. 

So I remained the Mockingjay, turning my grief into a rage that burned night and day. I used it to fight against injustice in District 2; I was the only one left now who had Peeta’s knowledge, “Don’t let them change you,” I had to keep the message alive. I turned it into strength to survive my sister’s murder, I still had a job to do, a vow to keep. I turned it into power to take a life, “for the greater good” as I put an end to Snow and Coin and their miserable games. 

Then I was left, with nothing to burn, except my own soul. And the fire demands to be fed, so I stoked it with self hatred and scorn, for the living and for life. 

No longer of any use, I dwindled in District 12, waiting for the dying embers of my spirit to finally be extinguished. I was nearly there one morning, I could feel the lightness from lack of food, my body so near to floating free from this earth and its torment. 

“Katniss”

I heard him.  
It was torture, I hadn’t cried since that day in the hospital when I must have still had hope that his body could call him back, but now I shed more tears.  
I cried for loss and despair and longing and want and sorrow and pity and injustice and remorse.  
I cried without comfort until there were no more tears. I felt no better, no worse; perhaps more empty. Nothing came of the crying, so I waited again.

“Katniss”

He was outside.  
I followed him to the meadow.

The meadow was a grave, filled with the bones of neighbours, friends and foes, all of whom had been slaughtered on my behalf. Peeta’s family would be here, ground into dust as the grains of wheat are ground into flour, an end befitting of bakers.

As I had this thought, the wind blew up around me, billowing into my shirt, tossing my hair into my face, making me screw up my eyes against it. I was bewildered at first, eventually realising my confusion was to do with the heat. It was early spring but the wind was warm. Rather than making me want to withdraw, I began to relish the feeling on my skin. I felt every part of my body as it was touched by the soft caress of the breeze, I stretched my arms out, resting my body into its strong hold, it supported me, held me up. I almost felt alive again. I reached out further to the tips of my fingers, I could so nearly touch him as he blew over me.

"Peeta"

"Katniss"

Was it really him, or just the sound of the wind?  
I knew what I felt, the comfort that only Peeta's arms had ever brought me.  
  
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
  
"What's going on with you girly?" Sae asked that evening, unused to seeing me smile.  
"He's back" I told her, "I knew he wouldn't leave me."

She already knew how strange I had become, through self imposed starvation and lack of sleep, so she didn't ask any more questions, just enjoyed seeing her food being gulped down for a change.

After she left, I went upstairs to sit at the bedroom window, searching the night for his shadow, willing him home. I sang the old forbidden song my father taught me:

_Are you, are you, coming to the tree?_

"Answer me Peeta," I spoke in a whisper, "come home," I begged.

Eventually, I lay back on the bed exhausted, leaving the window open, in memory of the way he liked to sleep.

Around midnight, the curtain fluttered, as the temperature in the room rose to body heat. I felt the warmth of his touch on my face feeling his way across my skin. He was here, the unmistakable scent of cinnamon and dill filled the room. 

"Peeta", 

"Katniss"

It wasn't a dream or a nightmare, he was here with me to comfort me through the night. I closed my eyes and felt his body solid around me, lay my head on his chest and listened to his steady heart beat.

_" I need you Peeta."_  
_"Your family needs you"_  
"I have no family"  


Silent tears for my sister rolled softly over my face, wetting my pillow, until I woke with the irritation of red skin, chapped on the damp fabric. I was alone again. 

I came downstairs as I heard Sae was back, pottering around in the kitchen. "Something smells good" she remarked, “you been baking bread?” She could smell it too, the dough rising, he WAS here. 

He was everywhere I went that day, and all through the Spring.

He called me to the meadow to lie down with him as the last rays of the sun hit the clouds, painting them the softest orange, a colour that made my heart ache. He reached down from the sky to hold my face, warming my belly and limbs, reminding me of the hunger I felt for him on the beach. The wind blew the dandelion seeds from their soft round heads, hundreds upon thousands of glimmering lights; they rose up, caught in the whirling air, twisting together, until, for a moment, I could see his form amongst them, his broad shoulders, the outline of his kind face. Before I could fully take it in, he was gone, blown over the meadow and into the trees beyond the fence.

I dragged myself home, confused, why didn't he stay? 

But he came back, night after night; I knew he was with me, his force was a barricade against the nightmares, giving me a sweet dreamless sleep. 

I stretched my arms out under my pillow, I was warm and drowsy, surrounded by a pleasant morning feeling. Something was waiting there for me. The memory of the shape came immediately to my fingertips; the smooth, cool orb of the pearl. It had been lost in the wreckage when I was set on fire in the capitol, but now it had been found and returned to me. I rolled it in my palm and touched my lips to the precious surface. 

_“Thank you.”_  
Xxxxxxxxx  
Through April and May I was crazy with happiness, unable to contain my excitement at his return.

But my hunger for him grew as the days and nights grew hotter. I needed him more than food or drink. 

Sometimes I caught a glimpse of him lying next to me when I woke, the sun shining on his hair turning it to gold until he became the light and slipped away into the sky. 

_“Stay with me”_ I cried. What had been comfort was now torture. 

Come July the heat was almost unbearable.

On the day of the reaping I was led to the square for the memorial.

There were still only a handful of us living here in district 12, but the crowds of memories filled the space, jostling us for attention.The air was more alive than the people, crackling with the tension of the coming storm. 

We stood holding hands as the new president's address was played, I doubt anyone there was listening to her words.

All I heard was the sound of my heart beat ringing in my ears, all I saw was the dust that covered the district. A year ago there had been coal dust, now we stood amongst the particles of human remains, the fertile powder of dried blood and bone. 

As soon as the echoes of our new anthem came to a close, I pulled away and ran, my weakened legs stumbling over rocks, back to the asylum of the victors village.

Thunder rolled in the clouds above, the ominous sound, the final warning, test me again and you will know my wrath.

He had been absent all day, but now I saw him, shimmering in the heat rising up from the path.

“Peeta”

I was angry, he should have been there by my side in the square, his was the hand I held on reaping day.

“Katniss”

He led me away from the path, beyond the fence, into the place that used to be my land. The trees were dried out with the summer drought, I could hear the leaves rustling together, whispering of my return. 

“Katniss”

Hanging from a branch was the locket he gave me on the beach.

_“Your family needs you, Katniss.”_

“Peeta, I need **you**.”

I was struggling to breathe. 

“You promised me,” I shouted, “I remembered what you said, you said _always_ , you promised to stay with me _always_ ,” irrational, I sank to the ground. 

_“Always”_ I could feel his breath on my cheek as he spoke. 

The wind blew up, sweeping the dried out leaves into the air. This wind was violent and angry, bending the trees, trying to break something, he was tormented and in pain.

Static electricity buzzed in the air, as the noise grew louder, rushing air, like a tidal wave, nearby limbs were being torn from trunks, the body of the forest torn apart.

"Katniss" he screamed, just as I heard him on the night I left him behind In the game. 

"Katniss," I could hear the way he had screamed my name whilst they tortured him. 

He had never left me, I had left him. 

I was wretched. 

There could never be any consolation for this. 

I fled the woods reaching the victors village as the rain broke out of the clouds, a torrent, lashing my body.

  


Sae was waiting for me, but I couldn't speak. I ran straight up stairs and locked the door to my room; shut the window tight. I had fled in fear of the truth, deserting him again. The truth was I had abandoned Peeta, leaving him to a slow death, alone in his suffering. And now I had tortured his soul with recriminations, that he had dared to die and leave me. Even in death I sought him out to inflict more pain, the boy who had saved my life. 

I sat alone, punishing myself, pining with regret. However, my need for Peeta was greater than shame, I longed for him so badly. I was still greedy for more; I wanted him real and alive, enough of signs and sensations. I wanted him to look me in the eye and tell me I had failed him, so I could beg him to give me another chance. 

“Come and gloat Peeta, you won, I lived.” 

The wind was banging on the window, squealing under the door, forcing a way in. 

I knew he would come. 

His voice came from behind me. 

_“Are you, are you, coming to the tree? “_

He knew the forbidden song. 

He stroked my hair, fingering my braid. It felt real.

_“Katniss”_

I turned round to look into his face, still starved and bruised, but his eyes were open, full of sorrow and so blue, I couldn't breathe. 

He was here, at last, really here. I absorbed his presence, placed my hand on his chest, feeling the movement of skin over muscle, drawing air into his lungs, the exhalation of warm breath. 

I started my plea.

“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have shot the arrow, I should have found you, I should have protected you, I should have died.” 

_“Your family needs you,”_

_"I need you Peeta,"_

He placed his mouth on mine to stop me from saying any more; his lips warm and soft and giving. We held onto each other, fingers remembering themselves to skin, bringing my senses to life, feelings I had never dreamed could return stirred in my body.

His kiss was not enough; I wanted to have all of him.  
Nothing could stop this now, not blood, not lightning, not death.  


Finally satisfied, I lay in his arms, unable to resist the curtain of sleep that would inevitably come between us. 

He lay his hand on my body, _“You're going to make a great mother.”_

_“Stay with me, Peeta.”_

_“Always.”_

  
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  


I woke in the night as the rain came in through the window, cooling the air. The bed was cold, there was no scent, no breeze, the air was still, I was empty. 

“Peeta.”

No reply, no sign or sensation, he had gone. A feeling of pure panic rose in my throat. 

The storm was ebbing away, I could see the lightning over the woods, chasing away from the district.

“Peeta” I screamed. 

The silhouette of the trees told me what I had to do. 

_“How much stranger would it be, if we met up at midnight in the hanging tree?”_

I couldn't live without him, I would go to him.  
Wrapping a scarf over my head I went out into the rain, across the meadow and into the woods.

“Peeta,” 

“Peeta.” 

Soaked with drops of water from the sky and the tears and sweat of my body’s own storm, I made it to the tree where he had left the locket. 

The wind was howling but I couldn’t be sure it was Peeta, was this just nature reflecting my mind? 

I was lost, but it couldn’t be over, not like this again. 

“Show me Peeta, where are you, how can I reach you?” 

A low rumble of thunder came to my ears through the black of night. 

“The middle of the night,” I thought, and now I knew what I had to do. 

The tree was slippery but I held on with fingers trained for this moment. Climbing higher until I reached the chosen branch, strong enough for me to rest for a moment, but thin enough to tie my scarf around. 

I had learned how to make a noose during training for the quarter quell. 

I was ready. 

As the lightning struck, I reached out to him. 

I jumped, into oblivion, where his arms would surely catch me. 

  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  


I opened my eyes to find him there waiting for me. Holding me in his intense gaze. 

"Katniss"

I couldn't speak with words, only tears. 

He brushed them away with his strong fingers, fingers I knew so well. 

"I'm sorry I left you when I knew you needed me. 

I was too stubborn, I should have fought harder to keep you; the way Peeta would have done."

I stared into Gale's grey eyes, so like my own. 

The years of shared history passed between us, the anger and regret tempered by a mutual understanding. 

He wasn't what I wanted, but he was all I had left. 


	2. Cross-Over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> D12 Drabbles prompted to get on and add another chapter.

It turned out my life was saved by the lightning; it struck the branch, burning through the wood, so I fell, but wasn’t choked to death. 

Sae found me in the morning, she had dreamt about me in the woods, "Must have been the sound of the wind in the trees,” she said, avoiding talk of the supernatural. But I knew she felt more than she would admit. 

So once again I found myself torn away from Peeta. Defying the death I so desired.

Gale arrived back in district 12 almost as soon as he heard about my ‘fall.’ The story of the Mockingjay’s failed attempt at flight had made the headlines on the nightly Panem news. It was being sold as a light-hearted story of Katniss Everdeen’s loss of tree climbing ability, adding to the rumours of how odd I had become. No-one mentioned the scarf tied tight around my neck. 

I was unconscious for two days before opening my eyes to find Gale. I flashed back to the hovercraft that brought me out of the quarter quell, the last time I had lost Peeta. Then Gale had been the only one who could get me to speak. Now my voice came out only as a squeak, and I was glad for the excuse to stay silent. Nothing mattered anymore. I let him take me back to the Hawthorne family home where Hazelle nursed me, just as my mother had once nursed Gale. Our lives were inextricably linked and, as I was forced back to health, I could understand what was expected. Hadn’t I once thought the same thing? That Gale and I belonged together.

The thought made me burst out laughing, and with my squashed vocal cords it sounded more like a donkey hitting puberty.

Hazelle came rushing through from the kitchen, ready to perform CPR or the Heimlich manoeuvre, but stopped at the sight of me, red faced with tears running down my cheeks.  
She came towards me slowly and quietly as if I might startle. Bending down on her knees, so her face was on my level, she tried to understand what was going on inside my head.

“Katniss,” she spoke slowly, “I think I’m going to have to get some more expert help for you.”

I wiped away the tear on my cheek, “I was just thinking of me and Gale being a couple,” I managed to wheeze out.

She stroked my face. “I know, so much has changed.”

“No,” I tried to explain, “It was so ridiculous. It made me laugh. We’d end up hating each other.”

I hadn’t meant to upset her, it was just the truth.

She stood up briskly. “I’m going to call your mother.”

That just set me off again, honking like one of Haymitch’s geese.

XxXxXxXxXx

Before my mother arrived Dr Aurelius was involved. I heard Hazelle on the phone, describing what she’d seen and what she’d heard from Sae about my mood over the last year, from suicidal to euphoric and back. Seeing things that weren’t there.  
He thought maybe it wasn’t just the trauma of the war affecting me. With my mother’s history of depression in the mix he decided I had an illness and prescribed medication to try to even me out.

As a precaution, blood tests were taken, before I started the tablets.

My mother arrived on a Wednesday. Six weeks had passed since I jumped and managed to miss Peeta’s arms. So careless. I shook my head at myself every time I thought about it. I couldn’t even get that right.

“Sorry mum.” I felt bad for her having to do her duty and come back to District 12, when she’d tried so hard to stay away from the reminders. And then the tears did start, for the both of us. 

“What happened?” She wouldn’t let her arms loose from their hold on me. I couldn’t lie to her. 

“I was trying to get to Peeta.”

Her healing hand was cool on my brow, brushing the hair back from my eyes. “He’s long gone.”

“No,” I shook my head, “he was here with me in the summer.”

“Ssshh” she soothed, at least having the decency not to argue with me. “Did someone hurt you?” 

I didn’t understand. Surely no one could have thought my situation in the wood was anything other than my own attempt to leave this life.

She whispered, “Was it Haymitch?”

I had no idea what she was talking about.

“Katniss sweetheart, the blood test showed something. You’re pregnant.”

The facts swirled around my head taking their time to form the true picture. The only way the pieces fitted together. The only way I could be pregnant was with Peeta. That was the only time I had ever had sex.

“Our family needs me,” I whispered his words to myself, resting my hands protectively over my belly.

No medicine for me with a baby growing inside. Babies were extra precious now after the losses of the war. So everyone went on thinking I was crazy as I insisted this was Peeta’s child. Poor Haymitch was prime suspect in Hazelle’s eyes. She figured we must have been drinking together whilst we kept each other company in the Victors Village. One thing could lead to another…

Gale just stomped around, trying to be a friend, but I would catch him looking at me angrily sometimes. Then he would feel bad and disappear off to the woods. I decided to release him from his duty. 

“Did you finish your work in District 2?”

“No, they’re holding my position.” The light in his eyes came on. He had been happy in District 2, and the last thing I wanted was to take that away from him. If all destiny could offer was a life of resentment with Gale, I refused. I had forgiven him, but I would never forget what happened to Prim. Gale was a constant reminder I didn’t need.

“You should get back to it. The country needs you.”

“It was good to feel I can make a difference.”

“You should do that Gale. Don’t waste your life here watching over me. I won’t do anything like that again, I promise. There are two of us now.”

He recoiled at the mention of the fatherless child. “You know it can’t really be Peeta’s?”

I would never agree, but I needed him to let me go, so I leaned in and kissed his cheek.

Gale gone, it was time to release Hazelle too. 

I thanked her for bringing me back, but it was time for me to go home. I think she was a little relieved. If I wasn’t going to marry Gale, then there was only the past between us. 

Just my mother left.  
I waved her off at the station. She had been here when I needed her, and I truly meant my promise to call. 

Sae took me back to the Victors village where I could finally focus on finding Peeta again.

I lay on the bed where we last met, and allowed myself to remember.  
The heat at the end of the summer, a storm brewing, and he was there. It had been real. His touches had set me on fire. My hungry lips had torn at him, and he had bitten back, his flesh was real. He had been gentle and strong, thrusting deep inside me. It wasn’t a dream. The pregnancy test had been repeated. 

“Peeta,” I finally tried to call out to him again. The doubts of my mother and Hazelle had gotten to me. I felt foolish talking out loud to my ghost lover; but the year was turning, and I feared he would leave with the sunlight. He had always been there in the beams more than anywhere. “Stay with me,” it was barely more than a whisper.

“Always”

A shiver ran straight through me, goose bumps raised on my skin. “Peeta; I’m pregnant.”

The light in the room grew brighter. It wasn’t coming in through the window, it was just there in the air all around me. It gathered closer, enveloping me in the glow. Until, at last, I could feel him again, holding me close.

“I’m going to get back to you Katniss.” The place where his lips touched my neck became hot, the heat running down through me. His lips moved up behind my ear, then closed on mine. I let my eyes shut and he was there with me.

“I need you Peeta.”

“I know,” his hand lay under my navel, his thumb circling the dip in my skin.

For the first time since they brought him back from the capitol, I felt really at peace. “What happened to you?” I could ask now, because I knew this was real.

His voice was clearer than before. He was growing stronger. “You understand they tortured me in the Capitol?”

I nodded for him to carry on.

“They gave me tracker-jacker venom. Huge doses. Enough to kill me, whilst they kept my heart beating with life support. It seemed like they were just experimenting by then. Trying to see what a human could withstand.”  
“It felt like I was spending more and more time outside of my body. The venom had separated my mind completely. One day, I watched as my body died. But it left me behind, still surviving in the energy, in the light.”  
“When my body left, I shattered again, but something in me held on. I couldn’t let go. Not until I had seen you again.”  
“I was crying out with the pain, and someone heard me.”

My eyebrows drew together. Did he mean me? I didn’t think so; he had found me, not the other way round.  
“Who?”

Another voice came into my head.

“Katniss. My name is Jean. Jean Grey.”

I wrapped my arms close around myself, and dared to open my eyes. There was no one there. But in my head I could see her. A red-haired woman, dressed in white, her eyes glowing. 

“I’m taking care of him.” She was trying to reassure me, but she knew I was terrified. She knew everything about me. “I found him because he’s one of us, a telepath. He just didn’t know it. His consciousness can exist without his body, with my help.”

“I felt him though. We’re having a child.”

Her eyes flashed. “There’s something that happens when he’s close to you. No one else would see him or feel him. Somehow, your body has taken in his force to make a new life. We’ll need to keep a close eye on this baby.”

There was a knock at the door and before I could send her away, Sae came in with a bowl of stew.  
Placing it down on the side table, she sat beside me and held my hand. I gripped on to her, a solid part of District twelve, past, present and future. She didn’t change.  
I took the bowl of hot meat and gravy, blowing the steam away before tucking in.

“We’re going to keep a close eye on this baby,” she said, patting my hand.

I nearly choked. “Sae…?”

“Oh,” She seemed to know something was going on. “She’s already introduced herself. Then it must be my turn.”  
She stood before me letting me watch as slowly her hair turned from grey to red, her eyes from grey to yellow, and then her skin from olive to blue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm an X-men film fan-but started researching to add them to this story. Chapter 3 may be a while as I now have to go and read the comics.


	3. When Peeta met Jean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a jump back in the story-line to Peeta's hijacking in the Capitol, from Peeta's point of view. It's very much taken from Mockingjay-Of course none of it belongs to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tenses and which person I'm writing in got very mixed up at points in this. Grammar was never my strong point. I think that you can tell I've been reading graphic novels recently too, some of the lines in this should be in a bubble with visual aids to support the writing. Sorry if it's impossible to read. Any betaing advice much appreciated.

I’m sitting next to Finnick on the beach in the moonlight. Katniss sleeps, peacefully for once, curled up on the sand next to Johanna and Beetee. I’m supposed to be on look out, but it’s hard for me to take my eyes off her. Just a few hours have passed since she told me she needed me and I felt it too, in the way she kissed me, her body wrapped so close around mine. Everything came together in a perfect moment; no pretence, no act, just the people we really are, lost in each other. My body still aches for her. And my head? Well, my head is a complete mess.

I feel Finnick watching me as I look over at her again, but he doesn’t say anything. I’m starting to realise there is more to Finnick than meets the eye. 

A woman walking along the beach raises her hand to get my attention. Is that Annie? No, Annie’s hair is darker, and she wasn’t there in the Quarter Quell, was she? It’s all starting to get a bit confused.

“Peeta.” I can hear her in my mind and then she’s next to me, where Finnick was sitting, the red headed woman, with beautiful green eyes.

“This was real, not just a dream. Trust me.”

She walks off along the beach, leaving no footprints.

As the sun rises, a silver parachute glides down bringing bread from District 3.

Katniss turns on her side, smiling softly to herself. Her head rests on her arm, stretched out along the sand beneath her; her hair is dishevelled from last night’s embrace, her lips still swollen from our desperate kisses.

Johanna turns to look at her and starts to scream. There is no mistaking the sound, she is absolutely terrified. Maybe she knew something more about Katniss all along?

“Johanna!” As I wake, it all comes flooding back, the things I know to be true and the things I have been told. Katniss blew the roof off the arena, firing her arrow into a chink in the armour, a fault in the energy field. This was Beetee’s plan. They say she knew all about it, that she was part of the rebel conspiracy all along, and now she is the Mockingjay, leading the fight against President Snow. I’ve seen the footage; Katniss and Gale with matching bows, shooting the Capitol aircraft out of the sky.

I’ve also been shown footage of Katniss and Gale kissing and plotting together. It all looks pretty convincing.

Johanna’s screams are real. They are my one certainty right now. The screams are bad but it’s the sobbing that gets to me. I never thought anything could break Johanna that way. It sounds like she can hardly draw in enough breath. A damp, rasping sound of tears and phlegm, and one small word. “Please.” What have they done to her? 

I’m chained to a white bed in a white room. There is nothing else. The lights are always on full beam, day and night. I have no idea of the time. The food stopped after the first week. A tube is forced down my nose every now and then and a liquid run into my stomach. Often I vomit it up again, for which I am punished, whilst they play me video and sounds of Katniss laughing at me. They use her voice to command my torture. Yesterday they told me I had been good, so they brought in avoxes to take my punishment for me as a reward. I watched helplessly as they were tortured on my behalf; and all the while Katniss laughed.

The only escape is inside me, to burrow deeper and deeper into my mind where the sounds and pain can’t reach. I used to do this when I was painting, travel in my mind. I thought it was just imagination, but I’ve discovered I can go to places even further than I knew. I realised I see things that other people are seeing; sometimes I even know what they are thinking and feeling. 

This was how I met Jean, the woman who now appears in my dreams:

The voice of Katniss had ordered my electrocution. She said she no longer had any use for me, apart from the fun of watching me suffer. So I fled away to another mind. I was looking up at the trees that cover District 13, hoping to see Katniss of course, but I didn’t have that sort of luck. I could feel the fear in the mind I was visiting, I think that may have had something to do with the tracker-jacker venom, I would only find myself in other distressed minds. 

It’s hard to describe how it happened. I didn’t become the being I was visiting; I was just an observer in their mind. I say being, because this time I realised it was a deer’s consciousness that carried me. And that day, Jean was passing through too. It was as though she was coming from another direction and we bumped into each other, as we lingered in the mind of the deer. I couldn’t see her that first time, but she spoke to me. 

“What are you doing here?”

The shock threw me out and I was sucked back by my body, forced to experience the electric shocks paired with images of Katniss, whilst a soothing Capitol voice told me not to feel embarrassed that I had been taken in by her, she was wily and manipulative, not to be trusted.

I let go and screamed as the voltage of the shock became unbearable, trying to drown out the voice before I started to believe the lies.

Jean spoke, and her voice became the hand for me to cling on to.

“You’re one of us Peeta. I’ll help you. But I can’t stay here in this pain with you now. Hold on for me and I’ll be there with you when you dream.”

So I held on for Jean. As everything I ever knew or felt about Katniss was broken down and disproved, Jean was there reminding me who I really was. She knew me from the inside, no games, no guess work; it was such a sweet feeling amidst all the confusion and pain.

The scientists and torturers came at any time. They no longer asked for any information. Often they wouldn’t even speak, just inject me and make notes whilst the recorded my heart rate or brain waves. Always there would be Katniss and pain, pain and Katniss, on and on, together forever. Jean helped me find a way to exist outside of it, hovering in the light rather than needing to go to another mind; and she wandered through my memories when I was allowed to sleep, reassuring me that these were the real experiences of my life. 

I never knew who or what would come in through the door of my cell, so it was no more shocking when, some weeks later, a prep team appeared. I was stripped and washed, and dressed in a victor’s outfit. Make-up took the longest time, trying to cover any bruising and burns and put some colour back into my cheeks; it can’t have been easy for them. Cuffed to a guard, I stumbled along to the studio. I had been strapped to the bed for so long that I struggled to walk, my leg felt weak, like it would go out from under me. At least the prosthetic limb could be relied on. I was seated in front of a map, ready to list the damage the rebels were causing to the country’s infrastructure and call again for a ceasefire, before it went too far. I was given lines to deliver, but precisely scripted this time. No more leaving me to choose my words. 

President Snow arrived and ignored me completely. Cold, hard anger rolled off him treacherous as a sheet of black ice. It didn’t take a telepath to know what he thought about me. 

I stuck to my part, listing the destruction of war, until suddenly she was there on the monitor. Katniss, walking through the bombed out wreckage of a town. I didn’t recognise it was my own town at first. District 12 was destroyed, and she was there. It was more of the same routine from the white room. I started to anticipate the pain, adrenaline surging to prepare for danger. Katniss meant someone was about to be hurt, badly; the response had been conditioned, even if I didn’t believe she intended it. As my enhanced senses scanned the room, I could hear Snow even though he wasn’t speaking. He was scared too, and angry, murderously angry. He was going to kill Katniss, and all of them.

I repeated the words as I heard them, direct from Snow’s head, “You in District 13, dead by morning.”

The pain, as I am hit with a gun to the side of my head, is kind of a relief. Now things are happening as expected. Katniss appears: I am hurt. With no day and night, this has become my circadian rhythm.

A boot pounds down on my skull, but I am no longer there anyway.

I’m in the training centre before the quell. The day I spent with Katniss in the roof garden. Somehow, amidst everything, we made that happen. The most peaceful moment of my life. My brain keeps managing to throw them out to me, these perfect moments, when everything and everyone else faded away and we found the truth between us. In this dream, I am in bed with Katniss. We snuck back to her room without having to speak to anyone. A whole day for just the two of us. Last time that happened was in the cave, and looking back I’m not sure who else might have been involved then without me realising. 

Here there is no one else. We are easy with one another after a day spent together. Katniss rests her chin on my chest and looks up at me with those soulful grey eyes. I don’t think she realises, but her hand is fisted in my night shirt. Our instincts are to hold on to one another as tight as we can. I run my fingers lightly through her hair and she doesn’t complain or move away. I know she likes this to soothe her to sleep. Her eyes are sleepy, so I bend down to brush a light kiss over her mouth. She reaches up and pulls me to her, kissing me back with those pliant lips. A kiss that’s pure but still contains promises of something more between us. We have been through so much together.

As she settles into my arms, I glance across and see Jean watching us. For the first time a part of me doesn’t want her here in our private moment. But nothing is private from Jean, even this thought.

“I’m not spying on you Peeta. I know what it’s like to love someone like this.”

But she doesn’t know Katniss. She’s only ever seen her in my dreams. Not even Jean can see into the mind of a memory. If she could, she would know that this isn’t like any other love. She wouldn’t try to tear me away from her, but she does.

“You’ll have to come with me now Peeta, it’s your only chance to survive.”

Katniss sleeps in my arms. How can I leave her, even if it is just a dream?

“Look.” Jean reaches out and touches me on the arm, taking me back to the white room where President Snow paces around my body. An I.V. drip is connected to my arm, pouring in Venom.

“He should have been under control,” Snow fumes, “He clearly needs more venom to change his mind.”

“But…” The white coated figure protests as I start to convulse, “we are in danger of killing him. No-one has ever had these sort of doses.”

“Control him or kill him, either way we can make a nice present of him for Miss Everdeen. Either way we will show her who is in command.” 

“They are going to kill you Peeta,” Jean spoke calmly with a hundred per cent certainty on this. “They don’t know what they’re doing with the venom. If you come with me I may be able to hold on to your mind. Look at yourself Peeta. If you go back now, you will never be the same.”

“Where will you take me?” I was more concerned about leaving Katniss behind than anything else and I could feel it annoyed Jean, my obsession with this normal human girl. She, herself, had only ever been attracted to other mutant’s. She understood the sympathy Dr Xavier had for ‘normals’ but having a relationship with someone like Moira or Katniss just didn’t make any sense to her. 

“I can hold on to your consciousness within my mind.” 

I suppose I should have been more grateful, but the idea of being inside Jean Grey’s mind wasn’t something to agree to without some consideration. The amount of control she had was terrifying.

“Look Peeta, you’re as good as dead already. It’s too late for you and Katniss now, but come with me and see what I can do.”

I took a final look at my body, starting to flatline. It was time to go. I promised Katniss I’d find some way back to her and then faced Jean. The force as she opened her mind was unlike anything I had experienced, pure, terrifying, exhilaration. I let it pull me away, into a place too large for me to comprehend. 


	4. The Return of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss forms a bond with Mystique which helps her through the pregnancy. Peeta struggles for a way to exist as more than a state of consciousness in Jean Grey's mind. Things come to a head as the baby arrives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was inspired to add this chapter by the April Prompt from "Love in Panem" over on Tumblr-  
> "Tell Us A Story Of The Return Of Life."

At first he came to her every night, his presence as real as any person made of flesh and blood.

If she closed her eyes, she could believe he was there with her, holding her in his arms as they lay in bed together. Nothing but his arms made her feel this way, warm and loved.

“This is where I want to be,” he whispered in her ear. He promised he didn’t listen in to her thoughts. “Where would be the fun in that,” he joked, “I enjoy the mystery, the way you always keep me guessing. I get to fill in the blanks.”

“What do you fill them with?” she whispered back into the night.

“Hope.”

The word wrapped itself around her.

“What do you hope for, right now?”

“Right now, I’d hope for one more kiss.” She shivered at his touch.

“Is Jean here? She’s being unusually quiet.”

“What does it matter? We’ve nothing to hide.”

“It’s just better when it’s just the two of us.”

He sighed, the breath catching her lips.

“O.K. We can just lie here together until the spring.”

X-X-X-X-X

Katniss peered out from under the bed covers and squinted at the clock. “What month is it again?” She sighed as she realised it was still November. So far she had managed to stick to her plan of sleeping through as much of this pregnancy as possible, but there was a long way to go until Spring.

She spread her palms over the lower part of her abdomen and waited. Still no movements. Sometimes she wondered if it was all really true or if she had finally lost her mind. Then she would stand in front of the mirror and study herself, looking for any changes in her body that would confirm the rumours. Her previously concave belly was now softly rounded, but that didn’t make it any easier to imagine another person was living in there. Her breasts had a new fullness. Her nipples had changed, they were darker and more pronounced. Her taste buds had changed too, and she was hungry all the time, even when she was nauseous she wanted something to eat.

Right now the baby was making itself known by the pressure on her bladder. She gave in and got up to use the bathroom, pausing to look out the window. It was just starting to snow, soft flurries of white blowing across the Victors village, drifting down like parachutes. The weather had been like this in the Capitol a year ago, the day she lost Prim. She pressed her forehead hard against the cold glass and closed her eyes, allowing the image of Prim being engulfed in flames to show itself. It was never far away, but she had learnt to avoid what only brought her pain.

As she stood frozen to the window pane, a warm touch brushed over her shoulders and she had the sensation of being held close.

“Maybe it’s not going to be ok,” she whispered her breath clouding up the glass. “I didn’t keep Prim safe after all; how can I look after a baby?”

She could feel Peeta’s heat caress her face, his lips kissing away her tears.

But the voice she heard wasn’t his, it was Jean.

“We’re going to be here to make sure the baby is looked after.”

Jean knew what she was thinking without her needing to speak, but she shouted back anyway,

“I don’t want your help.”

Tearing herself away from the comfort of Peeta’s presence, she slammed the bathroom door behind her, “Can I at least have some privacy in here!”

She was sick of Jean always being there whenever Peeta came to her. There was never any chance for intimacy. She wondered how he could have appeared so real that fateful night, on the anniversary of the reaping. Peeta couldn’t answer that himself, something in the atmosphere he guessed. He promised her again and again that he would never stop trying to get back, and she knew it was true, that he longed for her just as much as she did for him. But in her heart she knew he was getting further away as the time to the birth got nearer. All she had left of him was the feeling on her skin when he touched her, his warmth. It was just enough to get her through the worst days, knowing he was still with her. But there was never a chance to talk and she missed that so much. More and more often his voice was replaced by Jean’s. She could feel her watching her mind whenever they were together, and she hated her for it. Nearly as much as she hated her for being the one who could save Peeta when it should have been her.

But Katniss had the baby growing inside her, and Jean envied her for that. It was her winning move in their unspoken struggle over Peeta.

Scowling, she finished peeing and briskly washed her hands. It frightened her when she heard Jean say she would take care of things. Whatever doubts she had about her ability to be a good mother, she knew that this was her baby, and nobody was going to take it away from her. Whatever her child was, if it was blue like Mystique, or had horns growing out of its head, or… whatever, she would protect it. She wrapped her arms tight around her belly and spoke gently to the child growing within her.

“I’m going to look after you. We’re going to be alright. I promise.”

She sat for a while, on the edge of the bath, blocking everything else out of her mind as she cradled her child.

Eventually Mystique came knocking on the door.

“Come on out and eat your food,” she spoke patiently.

“Is it just you?”

“Yes, just me and the stew. Come and eat whilst it’s warm.”

She waited to hear her footsteps leaving before following the guidance of her stomach and joining her in the kitchen. Mystique had already started to eat, for all the world looking just like Sae, chewing slowly on the meat. The smell took Katniss straight back to the Hob.

“Wild dog?”

“Not much else out there at this time of year, squirrels are hibernating, rabbits aren’t breeding and I’m too set in my ways to go and spend money on fancy cuts from the butcher.”

Sometimes Katniss could almost forget this was Mystique. She was easier to be around than Jean, but she had still avoided talking to her since the mutants revelation.  
“What happened to Sae?”

“Sit down and eat.”

Katniss sat down but wouldn’t start eating until she’d had an answer.

Mystique put down her knife and fork.

“Sae died a long time ago. Of natural causes. One of your District 12 lung diseases, too much coal dust and not enough food. I took on this form before you were born.”

Katniss frowned, “So, the Sae I knew, that’s always been you?”

Mystique carried on eating, signaling with her knife for Katniss to do the same.

“I don’t understand. You’re not just here for the baby?”

“No, I was here already, trying to stay hidden, have a quiet old age. And then you came along,” she shook her head, a wry smile drawing up one side of her mouth.

“What were you hiding from?”

“Eat your stew first, and then I’ll tell you.”

Mystique suggested a walk after dinner. There had only been a brief flurry of snow, enough to make the ground slippery, but nothing to stop them heading into the woods.

“Is it harder for Jean to listen out here?” Katniss wondered.

Mystique just laughed at that. “She’s a real pain in the ass isn’t she! No, it’s not that easy to get away from Jean, but,” she tapped her head, “she’s known me long enough to know she’s better off staying out of here.”

“I wish she’d back off and let me talk to Peeta.”

Mystique nodded her head in understanding. She had watched Katniss and Peeta together in the Games and the Quarter Quell; seen them walk around the district together after the Hob was burned down. She knew that Jean was being more possessive of Peeta than she needed to be and maybe that wasn’t just about preservation of the mutants.

Once they were deeper amongst the trees, Mystique changed her appearance from Sae to her own form. Her blue skin blended into the shadows, her red hair appeared brown in the half light. In these conditions what had seemed shocking in the light of day made sense as camouflage.

She told Katniss the story of the mutants. “There have always been mutant forms amongst humans. For centuries we learned how to survive by hiding our strangeness away. But, there was a time when we believed we were special. There were two sides, one who thought we were superior and should gather together in strength, and another who thought we were natures gift to humankind and should use our differences to help those without. Both sides saw normal human’s as lacking, without the gift of a mutation. And the rest of the world saw us as a threat. All the more when we banded together. But, however strong we might be, we were always in the minority.”

“The dark days brought destruction of many things, the climate changed causing floods and earthquakes, crops failed, until fear turned to hate and wars started. With so little to go around anyone who didn’t fit in was outcast and mutants were first to go. Children with any signs of difference were slaughtered, sometimes by their own families.”

She stopped abruptly, “We thought that I was the only one to survive.”

The snow had stopped but the air was frozen. Fallen leaves crunched underfoot, the sound echoing eerily in the still of the woods. It was dusk and the weak sunlight couldn’t reach down into the trees. Mystique had all but vanished, only her yellow eyes gave her away.

“I have a very unusual mutation,” she tried to explain, “It makes me age much more slowly.” She shrugged. “I’ve lived a dozen lifetimes, been a thousand different people, seen everyone I was close to die.”

Their eyes connected, sharing the burden of each other’s grief. Katniss reached out, endeavoring to offer some comfort. As her hand touched Mystique’s shoulder she realised this stranger was also Sae. The old ally who had always had her back; traded generously for her meat, helped her to get a good deal for Prim’s goat, fed her when everyone else had left.

“Thank you,” she offered, “for everything you’ve done for me.” The words were all she could give back right now, but she wanted to acknowledge her debt.

“Ah, shush,” she sounded just like Sae as she threw the gratitude back, “You live so long, you eventually learn how to be a decent person.”

“No,“ Katniss refused to let her down play herself. “I’ve met plenty of mean old people.”

“Well I am over two hundred years old.”

That stopped Katniss in her tracks.

“Yes,” Mystique continued enjoying Katniss’ shock, “I’ve probably got about one more good human life span in me, and then I’ll finally be done with all this.”

They walked on in silence, as Katniss took on board all she’d learned.

“But, what about Jean” she asked eventually.

“The ever-present Jean Grey,” Mystique grunted, “I hadn’t thought I’d be meeting her again, but nothing should be ruled out when it comes to the power of that mutant’s mind.”

“She felt Peeta’s torment and couldn’t resist the call of a fellow telepath, especially one from the future. The hope that her kind had survived.”

“So where is she now?” Katniss was struggling to understand.

Mystique looked out into the shadows, seeking inspiration for how to explain.

“Jean doesn’t have a form in this time. Her body exists only in the past, way back, in the time before the dark ages. You could think of her as a ghost. Only the dead can travel through time.”

Katniss felt her stomach drop, her knees weaken as the crushing sensation of loss came over her.

“Peeta?” she whispered, unable to fully speak her fear.

“No…” Mystique answered cautiously, “No, this is still Peeta’s time. Irritating she may be, but Jean is keeping him alive. Without her he would have been lost.”

“If he’s alive, he could still come back to me?”

Mystique opened her mouth, then stopped, taking more time to think. “If there’s any way to get back to you, I’m sure Peeta will find it.”

It wasn’t as convincing a reply as Katniss had hoped for.

They made their way back to the Victors Village, Mystique effortlessly transforming into Sae as they left the woods. She left Katniss to go and check on Haymitch.

Katniss headed straight for bed, her mind full of everything Mystique had told her. “Greasy Mystique,” she smiled to herself at the thought of Sae having such a District 1 sounding name, and then felt the pang of having no one to share the joke with. "Just you and me baby boo," she crooned to her stomach as she settled back under the covers. She lay a pillow alongside her and tried to believe that one day Peeta would be there too.

X-X-X-X-X-X

Spending time with Mystique became much easier for Katniss. A couple of evenings later they sat out on the porch; Katniss was teaching herself to knit, Mystique in her form as Sae, was sipping from a bottle of white liquor. She reassured Katniss again that she had no plans to try to take her baby away from her.

“Jean just wants to know that mutants survived the wars. She is living in a long gone reality, a time when they thought it mattered,” she explained, wiping the corner of her mouth on her sleeve.

“As for me, I really couldn’t care less if the child turns out to be a mutant or not. Mutant/non-mutant; Capitol/district; Town/ Seam - it’s just another way to divide people up. We’ve all got faults and strengths. And occasionally there’s a rare soul with something extra special that’s nothing to do with how they look, where they were born, or any special powers.”

She looked at Katniss pointedly, “I want to help because of who you are Katniss. You’ve got that something else, something that changed this world. That’s more important to me than your baby’s DNA.”

Katniss focused on trying not to drop a stitch. She wasn’t sure how to respond to such unexpectedly kind words.

It was a welcome distraction when Haymitch came chasing up the path trying to round up his geese.

The two women laughed as he skidded around in the snow, the large grey birds honking and hissing at him, but always remaining just out of his reach.

He stopped to catch his breath. Leaning on his knees, he looked over and caught sight of Katniss and Sae enjoying his predicament.

“You could come and help you know. It’s the least you could do for the father of your child.”

Katniss’ laughter turned to a scowl. She knew what the rest of the district thought. The rumour had probably been started by Hazelle Hawthorne. It was one of the reasons she hadn’t ventured far from the Victors Village, and also the reason she had been generally avoiding Haymitch. She didn’t want to cause him any trouble.

“Don’t worry about it Sweetheart,” he left the geese who immediately flocked back together and started to follow him as he crossed over to Katniss’ porch.

“You’re not the first to want to claim me as the father of their offspring.”

Katniss narrowed her eyes at him.

“Tell her Sae, she doesn’t believe it. I had no end of girls throwing themselves at me when I came back from the games.”

“It’s true,” Mystique/Sae confirmed. “You were quite the catch in your time.”

“It’s no bad thing to have a bit of scandal going around. Helps to keep up my wild man reputation.”

Katniss rolled her eyes at that.

“So why are you chasing your geese around the village?”

“They’re laying all over the place. I want them to stay in their pen, so I can take the eggs to the Harvest festival at the weekend. I’m hoping to swap them for some high quality booze. If there’s one thing I miss from the old life, it’s the Capitol’s drinks selection. Made a change from white liquor all year round.”

“My efforts with brewing haven’t quite been up to Ripper’s standard, have they?” Sae said wistfully thinking of her old companion from the hob who didn’t manage to escape the Capitol’s bombs.

Haymitch wrapped an arm around her shoulder and hugged his old drinking companion.

Katniss watched and wondered what Haymitch would make of Mystique.

“Are you going to come along to the festival?” he asked Katniss.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Why not? Come on, it’s the first year we’ve got something other than a crop of coal and human sacrifices to celebrate.”

“Yes,” Mystique joined in, “You should be there Katniss.”

“You can hold my hand and we’ll let them talk.” Haymitch suggested.

Katniss wavered, maybe it was time she ventured beyond the gates of the victors village. It dawned on her that having Peeta’s baby meant she was going to have to carry on living, not just dwelling in the past and wishing for what might have been.

“O.k.,” she managed, her voice cracking, “I’ll come along.”

X-X-X-X-X-X

By the time they arrived the festival was already in full swing. The December day had grown dark and paper lanterns were hung around giving the town square a warm glow. The air sparkled with snowflakes catching the light as they drifted down from the winter sky.

Haymitch and Sae had been drinking together before they set off and were determined to enjoy themselves. Haymitch linked his arm through Katniss’ and planted a sloppy kiss on her cheek.

“Would you like to dance?”

She wiped the damp patch off her face and tried unsuccessfully to get the buttons of her old coat to fasten over her baby bump.

“No, I don’t want to get any more attention.” She had noticed Hazelle watching them arrive, her arms folded firmly across her chest.

“Sae?” Haymitch offered his hand and gave an exaggerated bow.

“I thought you’d never ask,” Mystique winked at Katniss, “If only I’d met you when I was a few years younger.”

“Let’s show them how it’s done,” Haymitch hooted and took her onto the wooden boards that had been laid down to make a dance floor, swinging her around to the fiddle players tune.

Katniss stood back trying to blend in, but even with most of the District gathered together there was still barely enough people to make a crowd.

She watched Haymitch and Sae as they danced, set free by the alcohol. Why should they care what people thought of them after all they’d been through? She wished she could let go like that sometimes.

“How’s the pregnancy going?” She was surprised to find Hazelle had come over to join her. “It’s starting to show. You must be about half way through by now I suppose.”

“Yes, I think so. My mother said it was due in the Spring, mid-April she reckoned.” Katniss tugged again at her coat but the button holes still wouldn’t reach the buttons. She gave in and plunged her hands into her pockets in defeat. It appeared the baby was public property now.

“Will she be coming for the birth?” Hazelle carried on with genuine interest. After all, a baby had to be good news whatever its parentage. District 12 was desperate for some new lives to make up for the hundreds lost.

“I suppose so, I haven’t really thought about that yet.”

Hazelle felt a pang of sadness as she studied Katniss’ face. She had been so loyal to the Hawthorne family over the years, looking out for them when Gale was unable to hunt, making sure the little ones didn’t starve. She couldn’t really expect someone to go through all Katniss had and not be changed at all. It was time to forgive her.

“I’m still here if you need me Katniss. Even if this isn’t to be my grand-child, I’ll be looking out for you. Our families have been through too much to forget so easily.”

She hugged Katniss quickly, letting go before she could reciprocate.

“I just wanted to wish you well. And, you left this behind at my house, I thought you might still want it.”

She pulled a chain out of her skirt pocket, revealing the locket Peeta had given her in the Quarter Quell. She must have left it behind when she was taken to Hazelle’s after her “fall”. She opened the catch to see the images of Prim, her mother and Gale. The black and white photographs remained the same, kept safe within the golden locket. Gale and her mother had moved on, but Prim’s face would never change.

“He’s doing well in District 2,” Hazelle couldn’t help but remark on her son. “Of course I miss him, but he can do more for the country over there than stuck out here.”  
Katniss didn’t know how to respond, still in shock from seeing Prim’s face again.

“Well, here’s to a good harvest, and I look forward to seeing you and the little one in the spring. A baby’s always a blessing.” Her eyes drifted over to a cavorting Haymitch but she tried to hide her disapproval. With a final squeeze of her arm, she left Katniss still looking at the locket. She touched each of the images gently before closing them away for safe keeping and fastening the chain around her neck.

Katniss was lost in the memory of Peeta giving it to her. He had asked for it to be made to persuade her to save her life over his. But what about now? “No one needs me anymore” she thought. But then she looked down at her belly, “except you of course.” She smiled at that. Peeta had still managed to win the point. “Your daddy is sneaky, don’t even bother trying to beat him in an argument.”

The warmth of Peeta’s hands covered her own as she rested them protectively over their baby. A kiss fell on her cheek.

“I wish it could be you and me dancing,” she felt his whisper against her neck.

“Well what’s stopping us? Come on if you mean it.” Buoyed up by the sight of Haymitch and Sae, she stepped forward onto the boards. The music was bright and Katniss started to clap along to the tune. Peeta passed around her until she started to spin, laughing as she tried to catch him.

To onlookers the sight confirmed the stories of Katniss’ fragile mental state; a whirling, grinning girl alone in the middle of the dance floor, oblivious to all around her, her clothes too small to cover the secret of the baby she carried, finally confirming the rumours of her wantonness.

When the song finished she was breathless, locks of hair had come out of her braid and were sticking to her face. Her heart was lighter than it had felt for a long time. It was enough, knowing he was here with her, it was going to be enough to see her through.

He was playing with her hair now, tucking the wayward strands away from her face, behind her ears.

“You look so beautiful,” he told her, “Pregnancy suits you.”

Katniss wanted to tell him how she felt about him, but couldn’t find the words. If only she could reach out and kiss him, she could show him how she felt.

Peeta avoided listening in directly to her thoughts, but couldn’t help but feel the strong pang of regret flowing from her. It chimed with his own feelings. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold on to this half-way existence Jean had given him. It was getting harder to stay.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to bear it, always watching you both from this limbo I’m in.”

“But it’s better than you not being here at all, right?” Her mouth felt dry after dancing in the cold air. “I can’t do this without you.”

“I miss your touch Katniss,” his fingertips whispered down her neck, little more than the brush of a snow flake across her skin, but she knew it was him by the way her body reacted. It was winter in the square but with Peeta here she was glowing.

“I want to dance with you properly, pick you up in my arms and swing you around. I want to kiss you, like you deserve to be kissed. I want to hold our child close and rock them to sleep.”

Katniss closed her eyes and drank in his presence, willing her thoughts back to him. “I miss you too, Peeta, desperately. Before you came back, I was done with it all, there was nothing to go on for.”

“You called me back Katniss, I wouldn’t have held on through the torture without those memories of you. And we’ve created a miracle somehow, a beautiful little miracle, nestled safe inside you. Our hope for the future. It’s more than I could have ever dreamed of.”

As snow flakes settled on her eyelashes she pictured him cradling their baby. “I always wanted you to be a father you know.”

His hand lay over the child for a moment. He wanted this too, more than anything, but wanting something wasn’t enough to make it real.

“How can I be a father like this?” he asked, his voice sounded hollow as it echoed around Katniss’ mind. More distant than the music from the festival. “I’ve tried so many times to get back again, I don’t know how it worked that night, the timing, the electricity from the storm, I don’t know, but I just can’t seem to do it again, and it kills me.”

Her heart seemed to have forgotten how to beat for a moment.

“You need more than this,” he told her.

“No, I don’t.” He couldn’t be more wrong. “I don’t need anything else. I never wanted a child, only for you. It’s normal to have doubts. If only Jean would let us talk more, we could help each other. We should be going through this together.”

“Nothing about this is normal Katniss. We have to think about what’s best for you, I don’t think I’ll be around for ever.”

“What do you know about what’s best for me?” her heart snarled at his treachery. “Oh of course, you have the almighty Jean Grey for guidance. Got a better offer somewhere with her have you?”

She felt the ire rising inside her. “I am only a mere human after all, I can’t always know what’s going on in your mind, I can’t understand what it is to be a telepath.”

“Katniss, No,” he echoed around her head. “Jean’s got nothing to do with this. Except that I wouldn’t be here at all without her. Our baby wouldn’t be here without her.”

“Dancing like that just brought it home to me, the gap between this and how things should be. I feel like I’m holding you back in the past, when Panem is starting anew. I’m really not much more than a memory now. How can I be the husband you deserve, the father our child needs?”

“Why don’t you use your special powers and work out how I feel about that.” She couldn’t believe what she was hearing from him.

“I’m not planning to leave you Katniss, but,”

She stiffened, stealing herself for the blow that was sure to follow.

“But, I don’t know how long I can go on living like this, a guest in Jean’s mind. And one day you might want something more too. This might not always be enough to keep you satisfied.”

“You think I’d do that, I’d leave you again?”

“You didn’t leave me, I know that. We were caught up in something bigger than the both of us. You don’t have to deny yourself something better in the future because of our history. It’s ok to let go.”

“I can’t believe your saying all this to me now. I’m pregnant with your child. And what I’m hearing is you’re not sure if you want to stick around.”

She clenched her teeth. “Ok, if that’s how it is I’ll do it on my own.”

It had been the closest she had felt him for a long time, the closest since Jean had revealed herself. They had danced in the square together, nothing else mattered. How could he say he was leaving her? And then she felt foolish. Because of course he would go. That’s what happened if you let go of your heart, it would fall and shatter into a million pieces. She ran away from the festival which now showed itself for the sorry gathering of drunks and busy bodies it really was.

She was soon out of breath with the extra weight of her child but she wouldn’t stop. She wanted to run away out into the woods, but the snow was picking up and she needed to find somewhere safe, so she headed back down the path to the Victors village.

Only when the heavy front door was firmly locked and bolted behind her did she stop, leaning back against the wood whilst she tried to draw a breath. But it was hard to get any air past the swelling sensation in her chest.

The locket shone up at her, taunting her with memories. She had fought so hard to change things for the better, but had lost everything that meant anything to her along the way.

Didn’t Peeta realise she was as much in limbo here as he was. She didn’t belong in this new Panem for all its freedom and promises of justice. She wanted to be back in her wooden house with her sister. But then she remembered how hungry they had been, all the time, constantly worried about starving or being reaped. That wasn’t her time either. She would have to go further back to when her father was alive. But then she would lose him again. The safety she thought she had then hadn’t been real either. There was nowhere for her, no comfort in this world.

She longed for Peeta’s arms. More than any other place or time, that was where she belonged.

Her fingers pressed against the wood of the door, trying to reach something that was shut away from her. “Don’t leave me Peeta,” she sobbed.

Eventually the tears shuddered to a stop as she chastised herself for the snotty mess she had become, crying over losing Peeta again. She noticed how cold the house was having been left unheated whilst she went to the festival. The snow was falling thick and fast, smothering the view from her window. It reminded Katniss of the day after Gale’s whipping when the snow fell so deep she had worried if Peeta would have got home ok.

“Why don’t you give him a call?” she could hear her sister’s sweet voice echoing around her mind with straightforward good advice.

“If only it was so easy Prim,” she sighed as the weight of longing bore down on her. She had thought she was good at being alone. But maybe there had always been someone there with her; her parents, her sister, Gale, Madge, Finnick, Johanna, Haymitch, Sae, Mystique….Peeta.

Seemed she had been letting a lot of people in over the last couple of years. Well it was going to have to stop. “Just you and me now baby.”

First things first, a fire. Her hands were still cold and shaky from all the spent emotion. It took several attempts just to strike a match. Of course Peeta would have soon had it blazing, he always had a way with fire. She shook her head. She had to train herself to stop thinking about him. She piled more wood onto the flames and mentally put gathering firewood at the top of tomorrows to do list.

Food. The baby needed to eat even if she felt sick. Reaching up to take a pan from the hook she could see Peeta doing the same. She had watched him so many times as he moved around his kitchen. After the Victors tour when they had agreed to be friends, she had sat at his table while he baked.

She couldn’t keep doing this. She had lost him too many times. Every other time he had fought to stay. Overcoming even death to stay by her side, but this time it felt like he was letting go.

She wondered what had changed. Maybe Jean was offering something better. He knew he had special powers now. He must have finally been persuaded to see that he was too good for her.

The soup bubbled noisily, boiling too hard as she stood with the spoon still in her hand, forgetting to stir until she smelt it catching on the bottom of the pan. She tipped it sloppily into a bowl. A sorry meal for one. There wasn’t even any bread. She would just have to make do.

Back in the living room the fire had all but gone out as the icy wind blew back down the chimney. The soup tasted terrible. Nothing was right. She curled up on her side on the couch, pulling the throw over her head to shut out the cold.

Peeta could as much stop the world from turning as he could stop himself from being with Katniss. He had been there with her all evening as she broke down and pulled herself together. He loved watching her determined streak in action. She would always survive, he had no doubt about that, all the more now she had her child to care for. The thought consoled him. She may cry and shout, she may hate him for leaving her, but she would survive. She was stronger than she realised; and people were drawn to her despite her permanent scowl. A heart as pure as Katniss’ couldn’t be so easily disguised.

She shivered in her sleep and he tried to reach out to touch her, but it was no good. Going to the harvest festival had exhausted his powers, he could feel himself fading away from the physical world into another realm. Part of him was ready to give up and lose himself, let his atoms spread out into the air of district 12 wherever the wind may take him. Holding himself together, even with Jean’s help, was getting harder every day.

He couldn’t touch Katniss, but he managed to draw the air across the embers of the fire, stoking the feeble flames with oxygen until they gave out some heat into the room.

“I’ll always love you Katniss,” he willed her to know his thoughts, and then he focussed with every particle and wavelength he could muster to see the mind of his baby. “I love you too, my little miracle, for always.”

She was growing so fast now, still tiny but pretty much fully formed. He couldn’t resist hunkering down with her a while. Hidden away inside Katniss had to be the most secret and safest hiding place on the earth. “Daddy loves you,” he repeated, over and over again, hoping this knowledge would somehow be imprinted in her mind, even if he never got to see her. She had to know he wasn’t abandoning her. Surely Katniss wouldn’t let her think that was the truth.

Jean found him eventually, calling him back to her. He could feel her irritation at having to play this confounded game of hide and seek with him.

“I think that will have to be the last time Peeta,” she warned, drawing him with irresistable force back into her mind. If he wanted to still have enough life left in him to see his child in the Spring he was going to have to stay with her from now on.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Katniss slept in late, waking to find the fire had lasted the night. She felt unexpectedly warm and settled under the blanket and took a moment to enjoy the rare sensation of peace. Something like a bird’s wings moved inside her. A strange but not unpleasant sensation. For a while she wondered what the pregnancy was doing to her now, before it occurred to her that this was something separate to her but inside her. This was her baby moving.

“Peeta,” her first instinct was to call him, “Peeta, the baby’s moving.” She had never felt such an urgent need to share something.

Jean appeared in the forefront of her mind. Katniss scowled, she had been pleased that she had been mostly staying away recently. Mystique had got her to back off. But here she was uninvited in her mind.

“I know you don’t trust me, but all I want is to see this child born healthy.”

“And to know if it’s a mutant like you,” Katniss called her out. Jean’s motives were not purely altruistic.

“Of course I’m interested to know if my kind will survive.”

“Your kind!” Katniss growled, “I think this last war has finally put an end to that ridiculous way of doing things. That way we’ll end up with just two kinds, the living kind and the dead kind.”

“This baby is mine and Peeta’s. And I hope it has all the best things about Peeta. Things I don’t think you really care about, not mind reading or whatever it is you do, but his kindness and his warmth and his strength,” she had to stop before she started crying.

Jean was a little in awe of the naked humanity Katniss displayed. Her own emotions had had to be controlled since she was a teenager to prevent her powers from overwhelming her. She had an unexpected pang of sympathy for this girl. Maybe this was how Professor Xavier had felt about the non-mutants.

“He thinks about you all the time.”

The baby tumbled around inside Katniss, the strangest feeling, but now she had recognised it, she was noticing it again and again.

“We need him. Please let him be with me.”

“It’s not so easy. His mind is held within mine, but the physical force of him is fading fast now without a body to hold it. Yesterday exhausted him. It was too much. He has been a fool for you Katniss, but I don’t think he will make it back again. If he stays with me, he may see your baby born in the Spring, but there will be no more dancing, no more touches.”

She wracked her brain to try to remember what was the last thing she had said to him. Some temper filled swipe about being fine without him. That would forever be their final goodbye.

Swallowing her pride she asked Jean, “Does he know that I love him?”

“He doesn’t seem sure how you feel about him. I think that’s why he keeps going over those memories, again and again, trying to work out what was going on.”

She had to believe that was a lie. Jean was toying with her, playing mind games. But Katniss knew Peeta in ways that Jean never could. She heard the sound of his heart beat in her dreams. And he knew her, better than she knew herself, even without telepathy, he would know.

Fighting the urge to lie back down under the blanket she stood up. “If you’ll do me the courtesy of giving me my mind back, the baby and I need to eat.”

Her stomach rumbled. She had a fancy for some hot chocolate, like Peeta used to bring when her foot was damaged, along with those glorious cheese buns.

X-X-X-X-X-X

A noise from upstairs brought her back from staring into emptiness, as the milk boiled over onto the stove.

“Shit, not again,” she was going to have to do something about her focus. Either that or just give up on eating anything warm.

Buttercup trotted in, irritating her with the jaunty angle he held his tail in the air. Not waiting to be invited he hopped up on the side and started lapping at the spillage.

She grabbed him before he could scald his tongue.

“Just wait. Did you never learn any manners?” She reminded herself of Effie, commenting on the district 12 kids table manners, and decided to let him help himself. She could clean up properly later. “Waste not, want not.” She smirked and stroked him whilst he fed, “See I will be a good mother.”

Having licked the mess clean, Buttercup jumped down, circled her legs once and hopped up onto a chair at the table. He seemed to grow taller and then within a second he transformed into Mystique.

Katniss had almost got used to seeing her change between Sae and her true identity, but she doubted her mind again at this, her mouth hanging open.

“You’re snowed in, it was the only way to get in the house; hopped up on the porch and in through that open bedroom window.”

“You’re not Buttercup as well!”

“No, I just borrowed his form to get in. I’m sure the real Buttercup will be staying warm in Prim’s bed like usual.”

She sniffed, scrunching up her face at the smell, “So what are you burning for breakfast today?”

“It was going to be hot chocolate,” Katniss replied sheepishly.

“Sit down,” Mystique ordered, switching places with Katniss, “I need something stodgy to ease my stomach after all that white liquor.” She stood holding on to the fridge door as she tried to work out what she could face eating.

“Eggs,” she smiled to herself, “Of course,” and pulled out a carton of the large geese eggs Haymitch had delivered before the Harvest Festival.

She cracked them into a bowl, whisking them up for an omelette as she talked.

“So what happened to you last night?”

She concentrated on tipping the mixture into the pan before looking up, still waiting on Katniss’ reply.

Katniss was having to close her eyes to hold in the tears.

“I think I lost him again.”

Mystique glanced back at the pan, “just hold that thought,” she instructed and plated up two beautifully fluffy and steaming hot omelettes.

She passed Katniss a fork, “Peeta?”

“He said he wouldn’t be able to stay forever, just living in Jean’s mind. It’s not enough for him. So I told him I didn’t need him anyway.”

She couldn’t bring herself to eat.

“But I do. I need him so much,” she whispered.

“Ah,” Mystique dismissed her worries, taking a large mouthful,” Peeta’s not going to leave you that easily.”

Katniss wished she was right, but in her heart she knew something had changed.

“The baby moved.”

Mystique grinned at the news, but Katniss silenced her before she could say anything.

“The baby moved and he didn’t come. Just Jean. She said he over did it, dancing with me at the festival, and he won’t be able to touch me or speak to me from now on. I don’t know where he is anymore.”

“Hey now,” Mystique got up to put her arms around Katniss shoulders. “First things first, you need to feed this baby.” She waited for Katniss to take a bite. “And second, Jean Grey doesn’t understand this thing between you two. She’s never met anything stronger than her will and she doesn’t like it. You just focus on what you know, what you can feel. That boy is not going to disappear. I promise you.”

Katniss sniffed and took another mouthful. “Thanks,” she held her stomach, “she’s moving again. I think she likes your omelette.” At last she allowed herself to share a smile with Mystique over the wonder of what was happening inside her.

“She?” Mystique raised an eyebrow.

“Just a feeling I have.”

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The winter was hard, but somehow she made it through to March. The baby continued to take over her body; the fluttering sensation was now full on somersaults with lumps of arms and feet protruding from her stomach as she turned. Strangely, Katniss found she had a new lease of energy. Her mother told her it was her pregnancy hormones making her bloom and she should enjoy it, but it was hard to enjoy anything without Peeta to share it with. She hadn’t heard his voice since the night of the harvest festival, hadn’t felt his touch on her skin, but sometimes she just had a feeling he was there. The scent of yeast or cinnamon, a warmth surrounding her, something in the colours of the sunset that reminded her of him. She tried to follow Mystique’s advice and trust her gut feeling, though her logical side worried she was making it up out of wishful thinking. She had to stop herself from getting her hopes up too high. She couldn’t face the let down that would be bound to follow. She had to learn to be satisfied with the simple facts. Peeta loved her and their baby and he knew that she loved him too.

Her mother called every week now to check up on her progress, and usually an embarrassing conversation about if she could be precisely sure when the baby was conceived. Mrs Everdeen was frustrated by Katniss’ insistence that Peeta was the only possible father, but she refused to make up a lie to fit in with her mother’s expectations. Worn out by having the same discussion, she put the phone down and went to sit out on the porch to clear her head.

As she sat there, gently rocking on the swing seat, her thoughts turned to Prim. She would have loved having a little niece or nephew.

“I’m sorry,” she apologised to her baby for losing their chance to have the best aunt ever in their life. “You should have been able to go to your auntie Prim for advice when you don’t want to tell me what you’ve been up to.”

Her eyes were drawn to the ground underneath the windows where something had started to grow, breaking up through the frosty ground overnight. She had never planted anything so it must have been sown by the birds. Could be something useful though. The thought spurred her on to get out for a walk. She could see if there was anything worth gathering in the woods yet.

The fresh air and exercise did her good, but there was nothing edible growing yet. The warmth from the house must have given the ground under her window its own little microclimate. She went over to have a closer look at what plant was growing so early in the season.

She stopped in her tracks at the sight of the delicate yellow petals of the evening primrose, opening up in the twilight.

There was something else at the foot of the primroses, the jagged leaf of a dandelion. She was about to claim this as proof that Peeta was still with her when a hint of doubt crossed her mind. It was only a dandelion. A common weed. It meant nothing.

She straightened up slowly, resting her hands on her aching back as she looked back across the old patch of ground at the centre of the Victors Village.

But the old patch of ground was gone. Now it was filled with golden dandelion heads, shining out like beacons of hope where just a few minutes before there had been only rough grass.

“Sae…, Mystique…,” she called, not caring if Haymitch or anyone else heard her use her friend’s real name.

She came rushing out to the door, alarmed by Katniss’ tone of voice.

“Peeta made the dandelions grow,” she couldn’t keep the joy from her face. “This is why I still need him, why I’d always choose him over anyone else. No flesh and bone man could lift me the way he does.”

Mystique gave her an odd look. “I said he wouldn’t leave you didn’t I? Now come on in and get warm.”

X-X-X-X-X-X

Katniss had woken up in a particularly bad mood. It was only just April but her mother had insisted on coming over to District 12, determined not to miss the birth of her grandchild, and already Katniss could feel herself losing control over what was happening to her.

Mrs Everdeen had gone to visit Hazelle, leaving her feeling grouchy and mean on her own. She blamed her mother for arriving too soon. She could have waited for Katniss to call her, this was her baby and her birth. She’d managed the last 9 months without any fuss but now the due date was near and she could feel the vultures circling.  
She paced up and down the kitchen, trying to ignore the feeling of panic rising through her. The baby wasn’t going to be here for ages yet, she still had plenty of time to prepare.

“Are you OK Katniss?”

It was Jean now, another one who wanted to take over.

“I’m fine. Nothing is happening. You can leave me be.”  
“You seem frightened to me. And maybe in a bit of discomfort, or pain?”  
“It’s nothing,” she insisted, “Just back ache.”  
“Katniss, I think you should call Hazelle and ask your mother to come back.”  
“No!” Katniss was sick of them all deciding what her body was doing for her. 

Last night she had submitted to her mother examining her.  
“The head’s already engaged,” she had smiled warmly at her daughter. “I don’t think it will be long now.”  
Katniss hadn’t slept a wink all night.

And now Jean Grey, the ghost in her head, was telling her she was about to go into labour. She had just about had enough of them all.

“No,” she screamed, “I am not going to have this baby yet!”

Her stomach clenched and a burst of fluid ran down her legs, pooling on the floor. She looked down at herself, having no idea what to do.

“I’m sending Mystique over,” Jean’s voice was sympathetic, but all Katniss heard was pity.

It was a relief when Mystique arrived, wonderfully cool and calm as always. “Just keep trusting your instincts Katniss, they won’t let you down.” She was the only one who seemed to have faith in her that she could do this. She didn’t call Mrs Everdeen, knowing that Katniss needed time on her own to adjust.

When her mother came back, late in the afternoon, she found Katniss bent over, panting hard as a contraction came to a close. Mystique had quickly disguised herself at the sound of the door, so that all Mrs Everdeen saw was old Sae supporting her daughter. She was acutely aware that she was the outsider here. But she brought her healing skills and she could offer them even if it was too late to start fussing over Katniss like anyone else’s mother would.

By now, Katniss was happy for her mother to take over. It had been a long day and all her fight had been taken up with managing the pain, she was happy to take instructions from someone who had seen this many times before.

The living room was the warmest room in the house. Sae built the fire up and brought bowls of water and cloths. The floor was covered with sheets and bedding.  
“Just follow what your body tells you to do,” her mother guided, as Katniss crawled onto her hands and knees, rocking back and forward like an animal.  
“Sae, Where’s Peeta?” she was panicking, her arms and legs shaking hard.  
“He’s here with you Katniss, I’m sure of it.”

Mrs Everdeen frowned again. She knew this wasn’t the time for arguing with Katniss but she didn’t agree with the way Sae was encouraging her fantasy.

“Peeta,” she screamed his name so loud it would surely summon him, even if he was already dead.

She didn’t feel him on her skin but his touch was all over her somehow, she was surrounded and filled with his reassuring presence.  
“Hold on to me Katniss.”  
She reached for him and he led her out of the maze of pain.  
“Focus, and she’ll soon be in your arms.”  
With an animal growl, she bore down as hard as she could, but it still wasn’t quite enough.  
“Do it for me Katniss, let me see her.”  
She would deliver his child to him.  
The pain was searing, burning through her body. Behind her she could hear her mother crying.  
“That’s the head Katniss, keep going.”  
And then it was easy as her babe pushed forth into the world with her own tiny cry.

Mrs Everdeen cut the cord, quickly checking her over as she wrapped her in a towel before placing her in Katniss’ arms.

“She’s perfect.”

“Hold her Peeta,” Katniss whispered, “make her feel safe.”

Mrs Everdeen decided to ignore Katniss’ ramblings for now, the afterbirth had to be delivered and Katniss cleaned up, but her joy at seeing her granddaughter was tempered with concern. The way Katniss was talking as if Peeta were here with her was worrying. It wouldn’t be safe to leave her alone with the child.

“I’m sorry Sae,” she spoke quietly. “I hadn’t realised quite how bad she was. I don’t think she’s going to be fit to bring her up.”

Mystique gave a loud “humphf,” and suggested Mrs Everdeen go and make everyone a cup of tea.

She couldn’t resist sneaking over to get a closer look at the baby. She was beautiful of course, wrinkled and squashed up, with a mop of dark hair like her mother.

“I think she’s got Peeta’s eyes.” Katniss couldn’t stop beaming.

“Congratulations, she is lovely.” It was Jean talking in her mind, and for once she wasn’t bothered. She was a part of this whether she liked it or not.

“Do you think she’ll have special powers?”  
“I can’t tell. They often don’t show until a mutant is a teenager.”  
“Well, we can be sure she’s not taken after me anyway,” laughed Mystique.

Katniss turned her smile on her friend. “Maybe not, but I’m going to name her for you anyway.” She turned back, unable to keep her eyes off her daughter for more than a few seconds at a time.

“I’m going to call her Mae.”

Mystique lowered herself carefully to the floor, to sit close to Katniss and Mae. “I’d like that very much. Thank you.” She leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to Katniss cheek.  
“I’ve got something for you too.”  
“I’ve been thinking long and hard about this, and I want to give you a present for the baby and to thank you both for all you did for this world.”  
“You know I’ve hidden inside the bodies of a thousand different people. But there’s nobody inside here with me.” She pressed her clenched fist tight against her chest and closed her eyes, disappearing inside herself. Katniss wondered who it was she was thinking of. Someone surely had been given a place in her heart once upon a time.  
“So,” As she spoke the word she seamlessly returned to her own blue skin, yellow eyes fixed on Katniss. “There’s probably one good human life span left in this body, and I want to give it a life with love in it. I want to give it to Peeta.”

Was this even possible? Katniss looked down at Mae, the proof that with enough love, anything was possible. Peeta’s heartbeat echoed in her ears. 

“Me and Jean have talked about this, and we agree it’s time for us to leave you now.”

Jean spoke up, “You were right. I’m here because I wanted to know was if we mutants will survive. We did, Peeta is here, and there may be others. But this child needs her family, I can see that now. Peeta belongs here with you.”

Mystique took Katniss’ hand, linking their fingers together. “You’ll know it’s really him. The food will be better,” she smiled. “Goodbye.”  
“Where are you going?” Unable to truly believe Peeta could return, she felt only the loss of her friend.  
“Into Jean’s mind. Don’t worry, It will be an experience for both of us.” She looked out into the room, searching for any sign of Peeta.  
“There’s one good life left in this body, use it well.”

She closed her eyes and for a moment the power of Jean Grey filled the room. Katniss’ mind was taken over by light, and a sensation of being connected to everything all at once. Her body was vibrating and the hand she was holding grew cold, she could feel it fading from her grasp, but she clung on, determined not to let go.  
A wind blew through the room, turning the air into a haze of what looked like dust. Mae started to cry. Katniss held her close in her arm, squeezing her tight against her bosom, but she refused to let go of the hand she held. She couldn’t have pulled away now even if she tried, they were pulling together like magnets.

The wind swirled faster around the room, spinning out to the edges until Katniss was left in the stillness at the centre of the storm. Mystique was gone. Katniss fingers were wrapped around another hand, stronger than Mystique's, but bony and underfed.

Peeta leaned back against the sofa, his eyes clouded and confused.  
The sight of him took her breath away.  
“What did they do to you?”  
She had let herself forget those bruises, how gaunt and starved he had been. In her mind she had pictured her victorious Peeta, glowing and beautiful with the sunlight on his hair and eyelashes. But he was here as he had been on his last day in the Capitol. It looked as though he had just taken a beating.  
“Peeta?”  
He still wasn’t looking at her. Not speaking.

Katniss didn’t know what to do. Her body was aching and sore, her lips chapped from screaming in childbirth, she had Mae to think of now. It should have been wonderful, but she was afraid. Who was this boy by her side? The essence of Peeta that had lived in her heart and mind this last 12 months, so pure and good. Would that still be there now that he had bones that ached and nerves shot to pieces by Snow and his games? The sight of him brought all the bad memories flooding back.

“Sshh Mae,” she soothed her baby even though she was no longer crying. “We’re going to be OK.”

Peeta turned to the sound of her voice, his eyes starting to focus. He reached out to touch her braid, then brushed his knuckles slowly along her cheek.

His voice was trembling when he spoke.  
“Katniss, is it really you?”

She knew it was him by the way her skin warmed to his touch. 

“It’s really me. You came back.”

If her hands weren’t full with Mae she would have hugged him and never let him go.

His gaze flitted between Katniss and the baby. His eyes glistened with tears.  
“We came home."


End file.
